Telling others

Some people prefer, at least in the beginning, to deal with the diagnosis on their own before having to share their feelings, or cope with with the reactions of others. Decisions about how, and when, to tell other people about your diagnosis are entirely up to you.

We know that some patients find the support of family and friends invaluable, while others fear burdening people they love, or don't believe those loved ones are strong enough to cope with the news.

Telling family

It is natural to want to protect those around us, and it's often difficult to even begin to think about how to tell them news like this. In the long run, however, it is usually better to be as honest and straightforward as you can. Even if you decide not to tell people, they are likely to suspect that something is wrong and worry anyway. When they do find out, they may feel hurt that you didn't trust or rely on them earlier.

Keeping a diagnosis of cancer a secret for a long time is exhausting and usually impossible. People usually feel a sense of relief in being able to confide in someone and when you are ready to talk about your diagnosis, it is a good idea to first choose someone you feel you can trust. This could be someone you also appoint to tell other members of your family and other people who might need to know about your situation.

There will be times when you feel you really need to speak to someone and other times when you want to be alone and this is normal. The important thing is to let those around you know how you are feeling so they can help. You could think about using the answering machine to screen your calls when you need more privacy.

Explaining to children

It is not easy to tell a child about a diagnosis of cancer. The amount of information given usually depends on the child's age and level of emotional development. Children are particularly sensitive to the emotions of people around them and can take an exaggerated level of responsibility for things that happen to themselves and others. Therefore, it is important to give them a reasonable explanation and to assure them that they have not done anything wrong, and didn't cause the illness. In general, it is important to have an open and honest approach, providing them with as much accurate information as you are comfortable with and they can understand at the time.

It might be useful to discuss any difficulties you are having with the Leukaemia & Blood Foundation's Support Services Co-ordinators. They are in contact with hundreds of patients and will be able to advise you and offer practical strategies. Click here to contact them.