When Gary Fredericksen went to a respiratory specialist with a chest complaint, he didn’t think it was a big deal. However he became concerned when the specialist found lumps on his body and referred him for a biopsy. After a nervous long wait, Gary was told he had stage four lymphoma.
Gary tried to keep things to himself to start with, but his wife Maree knew something wasn’t right. After a lot of questioning, Gary handed her the letter with the results on it.
“When I read that letter I just fell to bits,” says Maree.
Gary and Maree had never heard of lymphoma and didn’t understand what the diagnosis meant. In the busy period right before Christmas they were able to see a doctor and have some questions answered.
“The doctor said “well this won’t be the thing that kills you”, which was actually really nice to hear at that time,” says Gary.
Maree knew a client through her work who had leukaemia who she went straight to for advice.
“The first thing she told me was to not look at anything on the internet and to go and speak to Leukaemia & Blood Cancer New Zealand (LBC),” says Maree.
Gary didn’t take the news of his diagnosis well and did not want to acknowledge it or speak about it. He now admits that he was in complete denial.
“was a fitness freak my whole life and to be honest I thought that I was bulletproof.”
“I didn’t want to talk to anyone about my diagnosis. I just wanted to get on with my life.”
Gary was told his lymphoma was chronic which meant it did not presently require treatment. He instead has been put on active monitoring until his condition becomes acute.
Maree contacted LBC as Gary was not comfortable doing so at that time.
“I went to LBC and met Rebecca who really reassured me things were going to be ok.”
“She gave me so many books to read and take home to Gary and it helped to know we had someone to talk to,” says Maree.
Gary says that while he tried to live in denial he lost a lot of his self-esteem. Eventually he decided to go with Maree to talk to LBC and everything turned around.
When I met Rebecca it was like a light switched on. She was so bright and positive and she really made all the difference to my head space, says Gary.
Soon after, the Fredericksen’s attended a mindfulness course which helped Gary to adopt a more positive attitude.