Grief and loss
Perhaps the biggest challenge of a blood cancer diagnosis is the fear or reality of loss; loss of a loved one and loss of one's life as it was. Grief is a natural reaction and it is normal to experience this emotion at various stages along the way - once a person is diagnosed, throughout their treatment, and beyond.
The death of someone we love is one of the most challenging losses we face in life and one that is naturally accompanied by a range of intense emotions which can take us by surprise. It is not uncommon to feel great sadness, anger, guilt, relief or regret, sometimes all at once.
It is also common, especially soon after the loss, to have a sense of numbness, disbelief or denial. These are normal reactions and our mind's way of protecting us from the overwhelming reality of what has happened. Over time, realisation sinks in and people can experience the range of emotions that follow.
Time to grieve
Many bereaved people feel under pressure to 'get over' their loss and move on. It is important to remember that grief is a process that takes time and the memory of a loved one will always be a presence in our lives. Family and friends need to allow the grieving person to express their feelings in their own way and for as long as they need.
Grief frequently goes in cycles and intense emotions can resurface, often at unexpected times. For example, it is normal to revisit intense feelings on special times of the day, such as meal times, and at special days of the year, such as birthdays, wedding anniversaries, or festive occasions. On these days, it may be helpful to plan ahead what you are going to do. Lighting a special candle or having a family gathering may be helpful rituals.
Support
Emotional and social support is essential in helping people deal with grief. Friends and family can be enormous sources of support for the grieving person and many find counselling and support groups help them to gain a sense of hope for the future. They appreciate being understood by others who have had similar experiences and feelings. Individual and family bereavement counselling plays an important role in helping people deal with grief and loss. In this safe and supportive environment, the bereaved person is encouraged to explore the many difficult emotions that arise for them.
We all deal with loss in our own way, and there is no right, wrong, or easy way to cope with the issues and emotions. It is important to trust that over time, and with a great deal of help, you can learn to live with your loss. You will find the strength and the will to make the necessary adjustments and plans to move forward in your life.
